Purple Mountain

This morning in the car....

microWombie : "Daddy, what is the name of the purple mountain?"

Wombat : "What purple mountain?"

microW : "The purple mountain bah..."

Wombat : "Where got purple mountain?"

microW : "There! That purple mountain."

Wombat : "Where got purple mountain there? Green mountain got. That's Mount Silam, where the pirate taxis roam and the illegal immigrants play."

microW : "Not the green mountain. The purple mountain!"

Wombat : "Young man, there is no purple mountain!"

microW : "Got!

Wombat : "Not!"

microW : "That one lah! That purple mountain flag!" (Points to Sabah flag on flag pole which obviously has a purple silhouette of Mount Kinabalu in its top left corner...)

Wombat : *Thump! Four paws in the air*

Mommy there's a monster under my bed!

MicroWombie, 5 yrs old, finally moved into his very own bedroom.

That night....

"So scary lah.... shadows on the wall... strange sounds outside the window... maybe a monster under the bed.... so alone....."

Mrs W : "Will you stop whining? Your son will be just fine! Look!"

MicroW : * zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ *

Me : "Sorry."

Michael Owen's movie

If ever Michael Owen is going to have a movie made about his footballing career, this will be the most appropriate...

Promise you won't get me red carded again...

If you are on planet Earth last week and have been following the World Cup in Germany, you'd have seen and heard all the hoo-ha about Cristiano Ronaldo's antics in getting Rooney sent off in the England-Portugal quarter final.

I was extremely pissed off by this and have been mopping about all week wondering why people have to cheat just for the sake of winning, until I found this photo somewhere.

It can mean a lot of things, I will leave that to you. :-)

The photo is entitled "Ronaldo apologizes to Wayne Rooney over recent red card incident."

Viva Espana!

Last night...

MrsW : Who are playing tonight?

Me : Spain vs Ukraine at 9pm.

MrsW : Cheh. Not interesting wan.

Me : But your beefcakes are playing.

MrsW : David Beckham is playing? I thought he plays for England?

Me : No no no. I mean Alonso and Garcia are playing for Spain.

Mrs. W : Why are they playing for Spain? Liverpool sold them meh?

Me : (sigh...) No no no. Liverpool will not sell them for 100 million pounds. Just take my word for it. They are playing for Spain this month.

MrsW : Ok. I will watch then.

(As both team lined up in the tunnel....)

MrsW : I say, who's that handsome man wearing the yellow shirt?

Me : That's Andrey Whateverchenko.

MrsW : He's cute. I will support Ukraine tonight.

Me : (Is it just me, or are most women supporting teams that have cute players?????)

How much lower can we go?

Malaysia 2 - MyTeam 1

Malaysian soccer sunk to a new low last night when the Malaysian national team just barely beat MyTeam 2 - 1 at the National Stadium, Kuala Lumpur. If not for an injury time MyTeam shot that hit the crossbar, it would have even been an very embarassing 2-2.

First, a bit of background to all the hoo-ha.

The MyTeam project is basically a reality style TV football show set up by corporate sponsors and cast of thousands and involving Shebby Singh (a popular EPL football pundit) as coach. The idea is to pick a team of amateur football players from all over Malaysia via a series of auditions ala American Idol style, train them for three months and finally let them play against the Malaysian national team. The whole idea is to uncover new football talents and let them have a chance to be noticed.

The Football Association of Malaysia is agreeable to the idea and culminated in the match last night. (For more details go Google for it).

Now consider the national team that turned up last night:

The so-called Malaysian national team, now known as the Malaysian Selection (for whatever reason I do not know), is not even a full strength team because FAM is probably scared that what if a full strength team loses? Might as well field the under-20 or whatever team so that in case they lose, FAM can come up with the classic "that is not our normal national team" excuse and save face.

Anyway, this national team is supposed to consist of proper (maybe even pro) soccer players with better than average fitness, ball handling skills, etc etc.

Yet, they have let MyTeam run rings around them from time to time and have to resort to rough play tactics to intimidate MyTeam players.

And a 2-1 winning margin is not something they can crow about. People expect them to win 7-0 or something like that.

Why? Consider the MyTeam:

A bunch of amateur soccer players selected from all corners of the country who do not know each other before that, and have only trained together for 3 months. Pure case of lambs to the slaughter.

Their weaknesses :

Lack of fitness.
Poor ball possession skills.
Poor passing skills.
Poor defending skills.
Everyone wants to be Maradona and run solo.

Their strength :

They have the heart for the game. And they looked hungry. (not in the gastronomic sense).

And that MyTeam goal that made the national team's players wet their pants? David Beckham would have been proud of the scorer Arun, had he seen it. Perfect lob shot from the right corner of the penalty box to the top left hand corner of the goal that caught the goalie sleeping, and it is not even a set piece. Will someone go sign this guy? He's got potential!

So, a national team only managed to beat an amateur team 2-1 (it could have been 2-2). How much lower can Malaysian soccer sink?

Gee.... someone kicked some butt.

Remember my blog of 13th December 2006 "It can only happen in Lahad Datu" when I ranted about the stupidity of most drivers near my house?

The queue jumping is gone! Yes, gone! It now took me only 15 minutes to send microWombie to kindergarten as opposed to 45 minutes in the past, and with lower blood pressure too.

Apparently someone had enough of the queue-jumping idiots and complained to the authorities. In March they start stationing JPJ (Road Transport Department) officers along that side-road and stopped anyone who continue to jump queue. I do not know what exactly they said to these jerks (JPJ officer : "Get back on the main road or I will break your god*mned leg!"?) but I noticed that no one use the side-road anymore.

The jam is still there, but it is now a reasonable crawl with minimum stops, which is tolerable. Unlike previously where everyone stops to let queue jumpers come out from the side-road.

Ok, one or two cars still jump the queue, but I noticed that everyone else is giving them the "look" that made them feel worse than a caught paedophile. Good.

The Wonder Of Righteous Anger - Part 2

The Deputy President,

Pizza Hut Restaurants Sdn Bhd

Level 20, Wisma KFC,

No. 17, Jalan Sultan Ismail,

50250 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Dear Sir,

RE: COMPLAINT

I purchased an large Atlantis Pizza and two large Pepperoni Pizza on take-away basis at Pizza Hut Sandakan at 1.30pm on Sunday 2nd April 2006 and requested for the Stuffed Crust version. When I reached home (170km away) I discovered that it is not stuffed crust at all.

This mistake has not happened once but twice. 1 month ago I purchased two large Supreme stuffed crust pizza on take-away basis and again it came without stuffed crust when I reached home in Lahad Datu which is 170km away.

I can accept that one mistake may be due to human error but twice? Is your Sandakan Pizza Hut staffs trying to pull a fast one on customers ordering take away orders? I find this especially disappointing and irritating. Do you know how disappointing it can be when your children asked you why their pizza are not the stuffed crust version when they specifically ordered as such?

In future when I place take away orders with Pizza Hut I shall inspect the resultant pizza in full view of the dining public in order to ensure that this sort of mistake is not repeated, ever.

Yours sincerely,

Wombat

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

4-4-2006 : Nothing happens.
5-4-2006 : Nothing happens.
6-4-2006 : Handphone goes breep breep!

Wombie : "Hello?"

Manager : "Is that Mr. Wombat?"

Wombie : "That's me."

Manager : "Mr Wombat, I am the manager of Pizza Hut in Sandakan. Did
you recently purchased some pizzas from us, like on Sunday?"

Wombie : "Yup. And it came without stuffed crust. Why you ask?"

Manager : "Well-- my boss in KL just called me up informing me of your
complaint and I am trying to get more information from you in order to
ensure that this does not happen again."

Wombie : "Wow. The email did work eh? You guys over there still have
any butts left after your boss has chewed them all off?

Manager : "Err.. you are just about right on that point."

Wombie : "Ok, the story is like this yada yada yada yada yada and so
please tell me how to explain to my kids why their pizzas have no
stuffed crust despite the fact that they have ordered as such and have
waited the whole day for me to bring it back from Sandakan to Lahad Datu and one even has tears in his eyes? Kasihan kan?"

Manager wipes tears : "Yes-- sniff-- you are-- sniff-- right. The
next time you are in Sandakan please drop by to see me and we will
sort this out okay?"

Wombie : "No problem. Have a good day."

See people, when nothing works and you are totally pissed off,
call or write to the top guy. It can move mountains, and get butts chewed.

7? It could have been 19!

Malaysia's performance at CG2006 Melbourne:

7 Golds medals out of 10 targeted.

12 Silver medals.

Now can we ask if only we just try a little harder, the 12 Silvers could have been Gold.

What? Not possible you say? Why?

- We are not physically built to challenge Aussies, Brits and the Canadians? Choose sports where physical attributes is not a factor.

- The weather is not right? Ohhhhh, we are so sorry. We can't help it if all major sport events are not held in Malaysia.

- The food is not right? Jeez, we are so sorry the other 5 billion people in the world doesn't like sambal, bak kut teh and rota canai you know?

- Homesick ah? Go back to Mommy lah!

- Too rich already? Fight so hard for what ah? Can our powers-that-be stop over-rewarding our athletes???? Why should they aim higher when being a world champion for a few months is enough to net them hundreds of thousands in cash, house, land etc etc? Why should a millionaire work so hard?

- What? You were there only for the ride? Now do you know what's wrong with sports in this country??????

I salute our weightlifters, rythmic gymnasts and lawn bowlers especially Siti Zalina Ahmad, whose coolness in thrashing a 50 year old grandmother from Wales is unbelievable.

As for the rest, my question is "What if you just try a bit harder?"

The world does not remember people who only know how to say "I tried my best."

The wonder of righteous anger...

Wombie at the Lahad Datu hospital.

Wombat : "I'd like to register my appointment please?"

Nurse looks at Wombie's patient card : "You cannot register now. Your appointment is at 10.00am. 10.00am appointments gets registered around 9.30am. The time now is only 8.00am. You are too early."

Wombat : "But can't I register early since I am the first one here? If I register around 9.30am I will end up with an appointment at 12.00 noon."

Nurse : "No, you cannot do that. Registration is now for those with 9.00am appointment."

Wombat : "Look, I am not asking to jump the queue. I just want to be sure I am the first one to get the 10.00am appointment."

Nurse : "You are the first one. Just leave your card in the box and I will register you at 9.30am."

Wombat : "Okay."

Wait wait wait....

At 9.30am....

Nurse : "Here you go. That will be RM5.00. You are now registered. Please go to counter 2 to take your number."

Wombat : "Thank you."

At Counter 2...

Nurse : "Here's your number."

Wombat : "But it says No. 5!"

Nurse : "So?"

Wombat : "I was here at 8.00am. I was not allowed to register because my appointment is at 10.00am, due to some logic of your registration system which I will never understand. But since I am the first one here, logic tells me my number should be No. 1, not No. 5!"

Nurse : "Obviously 4 person registered ahead of you."

Wombat : "Look Nurse, before I make a scene, and demand to see your matron or hospital director, please explain to me how these 4 people get to register ahead of me when your registration system obviously forbids it? Or are you trying to tell me something is obviously not so right with your oh-so-sacred registration system here? Do I smell cronyism in the air? Or did something change hands? "

Nurse : : "Ok ok. You win. Here, you get No. 1 number. Give me the No.5 back."

Wombat : "Thank you very much. A very good day to you too."