Best Olympic Opening Ceremony ever....... NOT!

Two years ago when the missus and I were in Guilin China, we attended a stage performance called "Dreamlike Lijiang" which is a ballet-circus performance. I was very impressed by the way they used the effects of light, sound and LCD projections in the show which gave us all a very big Wow-effect. I remember telling MrsW that multiply this by a thousand times and we can imagine what is in store at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Fast forward to 8-8-2008... Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony.

The 2008 drummers doing the countdown in the dark was really cool and spectacular. So is the subsequent performances and the fireworks display. The use of huge number of performers and the high tech tools used in the cinematic projections and sound achieved the desired wow-effect.

The lighting of the Olympic cauldron is not bad. Note that I say not bad. There is no uncertainty to rival the Flaming Arrow of Barcelona '92 thus it can never be the best flame lighting ever. It was all done with wires ala Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon style. I was quite impressed, probably due to the emotional effect of the music during Li Ning's final "run" around the stadium's rim while suspended on wires. 

Second best of all time, I rated it. Sydney 2000's flame lighting could have won second place outright if not for the 10 minute glitch when the "flying saucer" cauldron refused to travel upwards after Cathy Freemen lighted it.

Overall a very good opening ceremony, I told myself that night.

Until yesterday.

Read on the 'Net that the 29 Foot Prints fireworks we all saw on live TV during the opening ceremony is not really live after all. What we all saw was a 55 second long animated fireworks video inserted into the live TV feed showing the 29 foot prints walking from Tiananmen Square to the Bird nest stadium. The reason given was that it is not possible to film all the 29 fireworks explosions from the air in a helicopter due to safety reasons, thus they spent a year creating this animation of the same. The fireworks did happen that night. It is just that what we saw on TV was not the real thing. Hell, they could have filmed it from the ground. You are telling me China cannot afford 29 TV transmission trucks?

Ok, maybe, just maybe I can live with that. I was real impressed by what I saw on TV and when the news came out I was disappointed but I can live with it because it did happen. It is just a technicality.

Until this morning.

My good friend Rkaru text me that the little girl in the red dress who sang on stage when China's flag was brought in did not really sing the song. She lip-synced. Fine, I said. Maybe her voice is too weak to be heard in such a big stadium. Then he told me she did a Milli Vanili on us. Even the voice that we heard that night was not hers. Another girl sang it but she was not allowed to appear that night because she has crooked teeth!

What the hell?

Worse still, the opening ceremony music director actually said this : "It was for the national interest. The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings and expression."

Hello? I remember a certain country in Europe used to think like that too in the late 30s and early 40s. Does Nazi Germany ring any bells?

It is wrong! Absolutely morally wrong to do it that way. But then the organizers don't see it the way I did. They probably felt it is nothing wrong to fake a bit in their search for a perfect opening ceremony. To them I say they still have a lot to learn.

This Milli Vanili thingy left a bad taste. So what else is faked? Maybe there were no 2008 drummers? Maybe there was only 208, the rest were animations? Maybe their president who opened the Games is faked too? Athens 2004 was not really spectacular but at least there's no scams like these.

I don't know. I will still watch the Games, if only for the sporting performances. As for the closing ceremony, maybe I will watch it, maybe I won't. But if I do, a doubt will always exist in my mind : okay, is this part faked?

China, you have ruined my Olympic experience.

Welcome to Zimlaysia

Coincidence?

The moment they announce today the nomination/polling day for a certain area whose representative has vacated recently, immediate someone was told to appear in court to be charged for a certain matter tomorrow.

Is it because it has now become a Do-also-die-but don't-do-also-die situation, so might as well all die together? 

Coincidence? If it is a coincidence, I am still a 45 year old virgin.

Mugabe, you seem to have a lot of fans in high places over here.

You think this is your father's country ah???

The subject of illegal immigrants (PTIs) in Sabah has been a hot topic in the media lately. Everyone had their say so now it is my turn.

I believe if one is in this country illegally, one should either leave or get deported when caught. Logic tells you that it is true. If I enter your house and you do not know me, you will chase me off or even call the cops. If I were to squat on your land without your permission, you will charge me for trespassing. So why is it okay if PTIs come in to Sabah and refuse to leave?

The situation in our state is reaching a very serious situation right now. All that has been done to encourage the influx of PTIs in the 80s and 90s are now chickens coming home to roost. Whatever agenda some people had that resulted in this has been talked to death, but now it is time to decide what we are going to do about it.

Of course the obvious solution is deportation.  Flush them out and deport. But this easier said than done. The political will is simply not there. All the promises are designed to buy time, hoping we will cool down if this is dragged long enough.

The other reason probably is this : The powers that be finally realize that this problem has grown into a Godzila-size monster. How do you catch and deport a million PTIs without any problems? How can they ensure that nothing untoward will happen?

But it has to be done, like it or not. Bite the bullet, as they say.

My wife is a foreigner. Her stay here is sponsored by me on a spouse visa, renewable yearly. When she first arrived, the number of hoops we were made to jump through by the immigration authorities were depressing. This form, that form, wedding photos, more forms, monetary deposits (which I can get back the day I divorce her. Hah!) etc.  Worse, the danger of forgetting to renew her visa yearly. In 2001 when my son was born, I forgot to renew her visa by just 3 days and I was compounded RM3000 (US$900). No appeal allowed. She is in this country for at least 10 years legally and yet she still hasn't got her PR.

Yet, some people from a neighboring country can sneak in, get a job, earn a salary, maybe even buy a fake or given genuine identity card, utilize hospital and educational facilities that my tax money is paying for and now some of the powers that be expect me to pity them?

There were statements from some NGOs that we should not deport those PTIs who are in this state for a long time because it is inhumane. When my wife got compounded RM3000 when I could not afford it just because she missed her visa renewal by 3 days did anyone say it is inhumane? When we were kicked from one corner of the immigration department to another corner did anyone say it is inhumane? When these PTIs came to my house and stole our stuffs did anyone say it is inhumane to us?

Nowadays I often shudder to think when I die and go to that big burrow in the sky, what kind of future my children has in this state? If things do not change I doubt they have much of a future. That's the scary part.

So to all those do-gooders I have this to tell you all :

If you think catching and deporting PTIs is inhumane, perhaps we should send them to live with you in your part of Malaysia. Especially those who are jobless, has no sense of hygiene, commit crimes and yell in your face that they own this country. Then you tell me how it feels.

If you think those stateless children left behind by their deported parents are pitiful and deserved to be made Malaysian citizens, then why don't you adopt a few? Wait until the day they steal everything from your house or they slit your throat in your sleep then you tell me if they are pitiful.

If you think those who have stayed here illegally long enough should be made permanent residents, then perhaps they should move into your neighborhood. You are telling us that as long as they hide long enough and don't get caught, it is okay? In developed countries even if you hide for 30 years and got caught, you still get deported.

One day, one of them, especially those who allegedly given genuine identity cards for whatever reasons best known to the powers that be, will ascend to political circles of this country. They may become town councilors, state assemblymen, member of parliament, ministers, chief minister, maybe even prime minister. Far fetched? What's so far fetched about that? He has a genuine identity card thus a citizen despite being a foreigner. This identity card is his license to go anywhere, do anything legal, buy property, spend your tax money, run for political office and maybe even marry your daughter. Now suddenly that's not so far fetched now is it?

I have news for you. Since genuine identity cards were allegedly given out to these PTIs in the 80s and 90s, I bet many of them are already in West Malaysia, doing perfectly legal things. It is now 2008. Where are they? Who are they? Nobody knows. No one will ever know as long as the powers that be refuse to deal with this problem. You still think it is a Sabah problem, when in fact they are already amongst you all. 

Think about it. Before it is too late.

Ouch my eyes!!!!

Today I am going to rant about drivers who use HID car headlights.

Yes, you know who you are. You who think that having white light instead of yellowish light coming out from your car's headlights are cool. I have a bone to pick with you. In fact, I feel like breaking your car headlights with a baseball bat.

Okay, some pre-mumbles. Normal car headlights give out a yellowish light. However, some premium brands such as Mercedes Benz and BMW offers HID (High intensity discharge) or Xenon headlights in certain models. The colour of the light is white instead of yellow.

Then, there are a bunch of wankers who obviously cannot afford a Mercedes or a BMW, who went and replace the halogen bulbs in their headlights with HID light bulbs. This way they also can get a white light and feel real cool.

So what's my problem? 

Well, if I drive at night and meet a Mercedes with original factory fitted HID lights coming towards me, this is what I will see :

However, if an Ah Beng drive towards me with after-market fitted HID lights on his crap Proton, this is what I will see :

Why the difference? Well, original factory fitted HID lights come with properly designed reflectors so that the white light gets projected in a straight line, lighting up only what is important ahead. However, the after-market HID light only involve changing the light bulb, and the reflector is never changed thus resulting in white light being scattered and reflected all over the place, blinding every driver they meet.

Of course these cheapskate drivers do not realize this problem, or couldn't care less as long as they think they look cool and it is just too bad if everyone else runs the risk of getting into accidents just because they cannot see the road in front for 5 seconds.

I really hope that the relevant authorities will ban all these after-market HID lights that's not properly installed. 

So if you have after-market HID light bulbs installed n your car, and wonder why everyone is flashing their headlights at you, it is not because they think your white light is cool looking. They are trying to tell you that you are an inconsiderate twit.

Highway To Hell

Finally I am going to rant about the miserable condition of Jeroco Road, Lahad Datu.

I have been traveling on this unsurfaced road since 1987 in the course of my work every week. Jeroco Road is a 45 km long road located near Lahad Datu and basically connects an area that has about 10 palm oil mills and countless oil palm estates. The road belongs to the government and maintenance is supposed to be done by the relevant government department which I believe is JKR (Public Works Department.)

As an unsurfaced road, it is natural to expect muddy conditions from time to time especially during the monsoon season at year end. Each time it gets repaired and the most one will suffer bad road conditions is a month or two.

However this year something about the maintenance program has changed. The road is allowed to deteriorate such that it is unusable in many stretches and no maintenance is being done to repair the road structures. Some patches are so bad you can drive a pick-up truck into it and you won't be able to see the truck from the road side. It is that deep.

Tankers, trucks, lorries, pick-ups often are jammed up at a bad patch for days on end. All that's being done is a few JCB back hoes around to pull the vehicles through and if it rains, the situation gets worse. In fact nobody will even think of driving there if they see black clouds in the sky. 

The photo below shows only the mild patch, not the bad:

Yesterday I had to travel on this road to attend to an appointment. It took me 4 hours to travel 40 km. It was so bad that on my way back I took a detour via another road which took me 5 hours to reach Lahad Datu. Well, at least the ferry ride along the detour was refreshing:

It is incomprehensible that such an important access road is not been given the attention it deserves. Numerous complaints have been made to the local authorities, newspapers, even TV3. Numerous promises have been made by blood sucking parasites--- oops I mean politicians that the whole road will be surfaced with asphalt before every general election for the past 21 years and so far only 10 km was surfaced and that's the area that hardly deteriorates.

The best thing is, it's been alleged that the local MP for the area, when asked why the Jeroco Road is not being repaired since it is such an important access road, he allegedly asked "Is that road under the jurisdiction of the government?" 

Clueless. TOTALLY CLUELESS!!!

Astro Gold-coloured Stupid Card

Tonight, 7.45pm...

Okay, Astro sent me this new gold-coloured smart card to replace the old one in my living room decoder. Says here in the printed instruction that it is going to be an easy four steps.

Right. Remove old smart card. Insert new smart card. Decoder auto updated itself within a minute. Switch on decoder again. TV shows "Please insert smart card" message. No channels can be viewed. All displayed same message. 

Ok. Repeat above steps again. Same result. The time is now 8.00pm. Liverpool is scheduled to kick-off at Anfield in 25 minutes time. Picks up phone and called Astro hot line.

Me : (Yada yada yada explained problem)

Astro lady : Okay sir, now you try this : Switch off your main plug for the TV and Astro and wait for 3 minutes. Then switch it back on, and press 880 and you will see a screen containing "Please insert your new smart card yada yada yada and then press OK". Do not press OK, just let the screen alone for 10 to 15 minutes. The decoder will then reboot and display the time. You then turn it on and you should be able to view the channels.

Me : Are you absolutely sure? I have a football match kicking off in 20 minutes and no self respecting Liverpool fan will ever miss a match except for funerals. We are not Chelsea fans.

Astro lady : It will be ok.

Me : Fine. (and proceed to wait 20 minutes and still nothing happened).

At 8.25pm...

Me : Stuff this. I am watching the match up stairs on the second decoder and the 14" TV. 

At half time....

TV downstairs still showing the stupid screen and nothing happened. Proceed to call Astro again.

Astro : Good evening sir. How can I assist you?

Me : I want to speak to someone about your Astro gold-coloured STUPID card!

Astro : Err... you mean the new smart card sir?

Me : No. I mean the new STUPID card.

Astro : Ok ok, I get the message. What's the problem?

Me : *sigh* (Explains problem again while vomiting batteries)

Astro : Ok sir, now listen to me please. Follow these instructions.

Me : *sigh* Yes, I know. Off the power to TV and the Astro decoder.

Astro : Yes. Then please hold until I get back to you.

Me : Make it fast. Liverpool is kicking off second half in 10 minutes. I miss a goal and you will die.

Astro : Now switch on the power. On the Astro with your remote. Insert the old smart card back. What do you see?

Me : I see Steve McMahon trying to be a football expert and failing miserably at it.

Astro : *Laughs* Ok. Now remove the old card and insert the new card. Then press 880.

Me : Ok.

Astro : Now press OK. What do you see?

Me : The screen says the new smart card will update my decoder yada yada yada and got another OK button at the bottom.

Astro : Ok. Press OK again. What do you see now?

Me : The TV goes blank and the decoder is showing AUTO UPDATE in its display.

Astro : Yes. That will go on for the next 15 minutes or so and you should be able to view your channels when it is over.

Me : Really? Looks like the lady earlier gave me the wrong instructions totally. You guys did not train them properly meh?

Astro : Well, sometimes we can get it wrong. Anything else I can help you with?

Me : Err... no. Look, you have been a great help. Sorry for being rough just now.

Astro : No problem sir. And I hope Liverpool will beat Blackburn too.

Me : You a Reds fan too?

Astro : Dyed in the wool Anfield Red all the way sir. Good night.

Me : Good night. *click*

The inconsiderate #$%^&*@s are back

There are those who remembered my rant "It can only happened in Lahad Datu" from December 2005 about inconsiderate drivers who jumped queues near my housing area.

Guess what? They are back after 2 years hibernation.

It is now December 2007, it is the school holidays. Yet this stretch of road still suffers from a massive jam every day starting from 7am until 8 or 9am. It now takes 40 minutes to travel 500 meters, and my 10 minute drive to the office now becomes a 50 minute crawl.

As usual these inconsiderate jerks took the side road on the left to escape queuing on the main road. When they reach the junction shown in the photo they expect cars jammed on the main road (which hardly moved at all due to these jerks' inconsiderate behavior) to actually give way to them so that they can rejoin the main road. The most remarkable thing is the cars on the main road actually let them get away with it, and suffer in silence!

Too bad if one has a sick passenger needing urgent medical attention at the hospital located only 5 minutes drive away. Must be nice and give way to these jerks first. Your passenger died? Tough luck.

After my initial rant in 2005, the Road Transport Department (JPJ) did station their officers at that junction to stop this farce. It worked, and for two years all is well, and everyone get to work and school on time.

I shudder to think what will happen on 3rd January 2008 when school starts, and the traffic flow doubles.

Hey JPJ people! Get to work!

Untitled, for obvious reasons...

Lest We Forget

Today is the 16th of September 2007.

On this day forty four years ago, Sabah and Sarawak joined Malaya as equal partners to form the Federation of Malaysia, despite the fact that certain quarters that cannot count would like us to believe otherwise.

Lets get some dates clear up first:

31st August 1957 is the day Malaya achieved independence.
16th Septenber 1963 is the day of the formation of the Federation of Malaysia.

31st August is gazetted as our National Day and I don't have any problem with that.

The year 2007 is the 50th year of the independence of Malaya and the forty fourth year of the formation of Malaysia.

As far as I am concerned Malaysia is 44 years old, and not 50 as claimed by certain quarters that can't count.

This is important. Otherwise a younger generation will grow up not knowing their history.

But did anyone care? Not much, a few maybe. Today's significance is not even mentioned in today's newspapers. In Sabah, today is a public holiday, but not because it is Malaysia Day. They gazetted today in the state of Sabah as the Birthday of the Head of State.

Happy Malaysia Day.

Lest we forget.

Serving features are for illustration purposes only - Part 2

Walked into a certain fast food outlet specialising in fried chicken to order lunch. The counter staff asked me if I'd try their latest promotion named Chicken Poopers (the typo is deliberate, you will soon know why...).

I looked at the promotional menu and found that Chicken Poopers are basically chicken balls the size of golf balls, or so I thought.

I said no thanks and proceeded to order my lunch. However just before I pay up, I thought "Hey, if they are the size of golf balls, they cannot be that bad right?" and ordered a serving.

When I got home, I took out the box which contains the chicken poopers. The box rattled. I open up the box only to find 5 miserable chicken balls the size of marbles, not golf balls. I think even my cat's testicles are bigger. This photo must have been taken with a macro lens during the photo shoot for the advertisement.

And true enough, the dreaded statement "Serving features are for illustration purposes only" are again in fine print in all their ads about this product.

Why oh why oh why will I never learn?

"My child did that?? Impossible!"

Recently two cases of teachers allegedly involved in injuring students were published in the newspapers.

In case #1, a 13 year old secondary school girl was allegedly punched twice in the face by a teacher after she allegedly said something vulgar to him in class. As a result her face is swollen.

In case #2, a secondary school student in Sabah was allegedly slapped by a teacher resulting in injury to his/her ear drum etc and may lose hearing in one ear for life. The student allegedly said something very disrespectful behind the teacher's back and was overheard by others and reported.

Before I want to get something off my chest about student behavior today, I would like to say that what the two teachers did is very wrong and action should be taken against them by the authorities.

Okay, teachers are not psychopaths just waiting to punch or slap people for no reason. Something the students said must have been so rude or disrespectful or provocative that the teacher will snap and hit out at the student.

The question here is just what is wrong with some of our students nowadays?

In my time as a student i.e. during the 70s and 80s, we feared our teachers all the time. One step out of line and we will get detention or other appropriate punishment befitting our mistakes. It is a very very rare case to hear teachers injuring students.

But from what I can see nowadays, a lot of students have no respect for their teachers and we often heard of students abusing teachers verbally, physical assaults, vandalizing teachers' property such as cars etc. When the teacher snaps and retaliated unlawfully, the parents of the student will yell bloody murder and tell all and sundry that our teachers are all psychopaths.

In the two cases above I have not read of anyone actually questioning the parents of the student just what kind of upbringing their children are getting today to the extend that they can abuse their teachers verbally.

No doubt action should be taken against the teachers but I just wish appropriate action will be taken against the students too. If nothing is done, it is like telling everyone it is okay for their children to be rude to their teachers.

Okay, I hear some saying it is easy for me to rant about this but what will I do if I find out one day that a teacher has punched my daughter's face resulting in facial injury?

Well, first I will demand that the appropriate action be taken against the teacher, by making the appropriate reports and so on. Then I will find out what set the teacher off. If the reason is because my daughter said something vulgar or rude to the teacher, I will personally slap her face in front of everyone myself.

That I can assure you I will definitely do.

"Come back again!" "Over my dead body."

I have a beef against coffee shops lately.

(For my international friends, a coffee shop in Malaysia is a place where one can go have have breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. For breakfast, simple local foods such as noodles are served, together with hot/cold drinks)

What's my beef? (pun intended...)

The first one is located at Airport Plaza, Lahad Datu. The Sunday it opened, it took out a half page advertisement in the local paper to announce that they are opened for business and the menu listed was very extensive. I spotted one of my favourite : Ngau Lam Mee (Noodles with beef stew). So off we went there for breakfast.

The place was packed, but we managed to get a table. The waiter came, I ordered my favourite noodle dish only to hear him say "Nope, we don't have that". So I pointed out to him that it was listed in their menu in the papers but he is not moved. I then ordered a few more breakfast items off that menu only to be told they don't have those either. We finally have to settle for the most mundane noodle dish of all : Kon Low Mee (Noodle cooked dry with mundane condiments) and waited.

And waited. And waited for the next 45 minutes.

I called the waiter over. He saw my not-so-pleased-by-now face. I asked him why the delay with our orders only to be told they are very busy serving customers. I glanced around and saw tables of no-so-pleased-by-now faces all waiting.

I waited for 15 more minutes and was delivered the best news of all : They have lost my order. Would I care to repeat my order again? Sure, I told him, in my next life. I stormed off that place, never to return. Today that coffee shop is very unpacked, even though others in the same area are enjoying full house status every morning. And I think the owner still doesn't get it.

The second one is located in town, at the new shops near the Executive hotel. Now this one is just opened for business too. Again it was packed, again our orders were late, and when I complained, was told everyone has to wait their turn. I told the owner of the place that of course I understand about queues and all that crap but waiting for orders for 50 minutes which can be fulfilled by other coffee shops under 10 minutes elsewhere is just too much to bear. At least he was apologetic, so I may just give it a second review in a month's time when they get their act together.

The third one was located in the same area, and BBQ meats/poultry is their specialty. Three months ago I had the same problem with it as those coffee shops above : long wait, insufficient staffs, wrong orders etc, and I was very disappointed. I went there last Sunday for breakfast and what a change. They doubled their staffs and cooks and no more waiting despite the place being full. Now this is a place that has learn its lessons, and is willing to adapt and change.

Now, why is that lately in Lahad Datu some people decided that since they have a few spare change, they want to open coffee shops just because they think it is a good way to make money without researching what it takes to open one? What ended up are customers suffering the long waiting times, false advertising, lousy service and worst of all, that take-it-or-leave-it attitude?

My father operated a coffee shop in the 70s through to the 80s, and I know what it takes to run one : dedication, and lots of blood, sweat & tears. Even my father's business was not successful in the end because he was resistant to the change in customers tastes towards the end of the 80s.

So don't any clueless new coffee shop owner come and tell me that it is not their fault that they are slow and lousy with their service. Nobody pointed a gun and forced them to start the business in the first place. They want to play, they have to play it right.

"Life jacket will cost RM50 and please pay before the plane crashes"

During our flights to and back from Kuala Lumpur, I noticed something disturbing about the boarding procedure implemented by the low cost no-frills airline which I assume we all are familiar with.

In the past, this airline has practiced a boarding procedure seen in almost every airport in the world : Travellers with babies or young children, the elderly, the infirm etc will be given priority to board the plane first. Other passengers can only board after the above mentioned passengers have boarded the plane.

But during our flight to Kuala Lumpur, I found that this is no longer practiced. It is now a free-for-all, and everybody board at the same time. This airline also practices free seating, that is, you sit wherever you like. No seat numbering.

Now I find this new arrangement of free-for-all boarding very disturbing. Our flight was full, and I clearly can see quite a few parents are travelling with young children, ages 2 to 5. The parents looked worried because there's a fair bit of pushing and shoving as everybody try to rush to the front of the queue at the boarding gate. I also see a few senior citizens who may have difficulty walking very fast. Even I was worried and told my son microW to hold on to my hand tightly and I swore I will elbow anyone who tries to be a dickhead and hurt my kids with their pushing and shoving.

Then the boarding gate is opened. You should see the crazy scene. Passengers who previously appeared to be civilized human beings suddenly degenerated into pushing-shoving-rushing-running idiots heading towards the plane, all trying to get a choice seat. I see a kid trip and fall down on the pavement. I saw mayhem.

What did the airline ground crew do during all this? NOTHING.

Finally my wife, the kids and me got onto the plane, and obviously we cannot get any four-in-a-row seats so that the family can stay together. Since MrsW and my daughter have problem with flying in a plane, I had to ask some kind passengers to swap seats. (Note : I do it for the family's well being, not because I wanted the seats).

So is there any chance of the young, weak, elderly or infirm to board this airline's planes ahead of other passengers? Of course there is. You have to pay RM20.00 (US$5.50) per passenger for the privilege. Something that used to be free.

What this mean is that if you are traveling with your wife, 3 kids and two elderly grandparents, you have to pay an additional RM 140.00 (US$39) just to be able to board the plane first. For this they will put you in front of another boarding gate just next to the one for normal passengers, and you will definitely get to board first.

So what's wrong with that picture?

One, if you are indeed a family of seven, you are most probably not going to pay that obscene amount of money. But if you are an ordinary passenger, you are also most probably not going to pay that money too because then everyone else will laugh and say you are such an idiot standing in front of that gate, paying for something that anyone in their right minds will think is excessive.

This airline tried to promote this pay-and-board-first package as a status-symbol package but I dare to wager not 0.1% of their passengers ever utilized it because it made them look stupid. The marketing guy who thought this up should have been shot.

I know as a low cost no-frills airline, anything extra should cost money. The airline has to make a profit, after all. I don't mind paying for the obscene prices they charge for food and drinks during the flight or even their so called collectors' items souvenirs which are all probably manufactured in China and probably marked-up by 500% when it gets to the plane.

But I draw the line at abolishing the time-honoured boarding procedure for the young, weak and elderly because it made me feel that this airline is out to make money at any cost and if you pregnant wife ever fall down and loses her baby while boarding the plane with that horde of uncivilized maniacs, just because you did not pay the extra RM20.00, well it is just too bad.

This is unethical! To the CEO of this airline I ask : Has your riches blinded your eyes so much that you cannot tell what is common human decency anymore?

What's next? The stewardess telling us "Sir, we have an emergency. Your life jacket is under your seat, but if you want to use it you must pay us RM50.00 and please pay up before the plane crashes."?

Post note : This airline has lost me as a passenger. I swore that if ever I have to travel with the family again, I will fly Malaysian Airlines, even though the air fares will probably cost 50 to 100% more. I will do it to protect my family's well being, and will not support any company that has lost sight of human values and decency.

First world facility, Third world mentality (Part 2)

This morning....

Blood pressure 120/80

Wombat : "Err... I am here to pick up my prescription card, which I left here yesterday---"

Nurse : "Oh yes, it is all settled. You just go right over to the pharmacy and pick up your medicine. Your card is with them." *smiling like a hyena*

Wombat : "Oh okay. Thank you very much."

Nurse : "My pleasure. Have a nice day."

Wombat : "Now what happened there?"

Blood pressure 120/80

Wombat : "I am here to pick up my medicine----"

Pharmacy staff : "Ah... Mr. Wombat, we have been waiting for you. Where have you been? We were expecting you to come back yesterday afternoon!" *more warm smiles*

Wombat : "Err I was tied up with something."

Pharmacy : "Here's your medicine, prescribed until 15th May 2007."

Wombat : "Why thank you."

Pharmacy : "You are very welcome. See you next month!" *smile smile smile*
--------

Now either someone's butt got chewed off by that incident yesterday, or I am now in another universe, or I am on the Truman Show.

Oh well.

Blood pressure : 120/80.

First world facility, Third world mentality.

At the Lahad Datu hospital today....

(Lahad Datu hospital is the second largest hospital in Sabah, for
whatever reason I will never know.)

Blood pressure : 120/80

Wombat : "I'd like to replenish my medicine please?"

Pharmacy staff : "No problem. Please take a number and wait a while."

Wombat : "Ok."

Pharmacy staff : *Tap tap tap into PC* "Oops. Mr. Wombat, come here
please."

Wombat : "Yes?"

Pharmacy staff : "When is your next review appointment?"

Wombat : "15th May."

Pharmacy : "It says here we are authorized only to issue one of your
medicine until 25th April, while another four medicine until 5th May
only."

Blood pressure : 125/85

Wombat : "Well, ain't that nice. The doctor screwed up again the last
time he issued my prescription? And this is the third time it has
happened."

Pharmacy : "Looks like it. You will have to go over there to the
specialist clinic counter to sort this out."

Wombat : "Fine. Thanks." *Stomps over to specialist clinic nurses
counter*

Nurse : "Ya?"

Wombat : "There is a mistake in my prescription again. I won't have
enough drugs until 15th May and I am going to die."

Nurse : "Impossible. Let me see."

Wombat : "Here." Blood pressure : 127/87

Nurse : *Tap tap tap into PC* "Hmmm, this is odd. How can this
happen?"

Wombat : "Beats me." *Said with a very heavy dose of sarcasm*

Nurse : "Ok. Wait a while."

Wombat : "Fine." Blood pressure : 130/90

After 15 minutes....

Nurse : "You need to go to Room 15 and get the doctor to amend your
prescription."

Wombat : "Okay." *Stomps off to Room 15*

Nurse in Room 15 : "Ya?"

Wombat : "I need the doctor to amend my prescription please?"

Nurse : "Why?"

Wombat : "(Because he farked up big time again that's why you twit!) I
think he got my presciption wrong resulting in me not having enough
medicine until my next review appointment."

Nurse : "Oh... ok. You wait outside."

Wombat : "Wait?" Blood pressure : 140/95

Nurse : "Yes, wait. The doctor is not here yet."

Wombat : "When he will be in?"

Nurse : "I am not sure. Half an hour, an hour maybe."

Wombat : "So I may have to wait one hour."

Nurse : "Yes." *Smug look on face*

Wombat : "No. I will not wait."

Nurse : "Why?"

Blood pressure : 150/100

Wombat : "Because it is not my fault he screwed up my prescription for
the third time, and I am not going to sit here like a dodo for one
hour while he enjoys his coffee somewhere."

Nurse : "Then you won't get your medicine."

Wombat : "You just try me." *Stomps off to specialist clinic nurses'
counter*

Nurses : "You are back. Got your prescription amended?"

Wombat : "No. I was told to wait for an hour because of someone's
incompetence."

Nurses : "Well?"

Blood pressure : 160/110

Wombat : "I am going to leave my prescription card here. I am going to
come back this afternoon at 3.00pm. I expect to see my prescription
amended by whatever competent doctors you have left. If this is not
done please give me your hospital director phone number so that I can
inform him what a bunch of Little Napoleons you have running the show
down here. Ok?"

Nurses : "No problem. Come back at 3.00pm. It will all be settled."

Wombat : "Thank you very much. You are too kind."

Blood pressure : 120/80

Waiter, there's something in my soup...

Last Saturday night, The Wombats decided to have dinner at a certain fast food restaurant famous for chicken.

Midway through dinner...

Little Wombat : "OUCH!"

Wombat : "What happened?"

Little Wombat : "My gawd! What's this????" *Hold up foreign object...*

Wombat : "Let me see---- mein gott im himmel! It is a staple!"

Mrs. Wombat : "Staple? Staple as in the sharp things people use to staple paper together?"

Wombat : "Yup. In her whipped potato."

Little Wombat : "So how Daddy? I almost swallowed that thing. What if I did and it rips my intestines apart?"

Wombat : "Wait. Oh Mr. Store Manager~~~~"

Store Manager : "Can I help you sir?"

Wombat : "Sure you can. Kindly explain why there's a sharp staple in my daughter's whipped potato?"

Store Manager : "Whuh? Are you sure?"

Wombat : "Here."

Store Manager : "Hmmm...."

Wombat : *Come on, just say the magic words. I am not hard-up for free chicken.*

Store Manager : "I am very sorry sir. This should not have happened. I apologize for the store for this unfortunate occurrence."

Wombat : *Keceng!* "No problem. That's all I want to hear. Thanks for paying close attention."

Store Manager : "You are welcome sir. Err... I see you took a photo of the staple. Why if I may ask?"

Wombat : "I am going to e-mail to your company's president in KL."

Store Manager : "But but but I apologize already! Now I am going to get my butt fried by my boss! I can lose my job over this!"

Wombat : "Chill bro. Just kidding."

Store Manager : "Phew! here, have a large whipped potato. On the house."

Wombat : "Oh how nice of you. Thank the nice uncle for his kindness, Little and micro Wombies."

Little Wombat/microWombie : "Thank you Uncle!"

Store Manager : "You are very welcome. I need my blood pressure checked."

Air Asia, Now every knee cap can cry.

I flew Air Asia for the very first time in my life from Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumpur last weekend. The plane's an Airbus 320, so I thought : "How bad can it be?"

Until I got into my seat.

Mein gott! Where's the leg room? The puny ancient Fokker F50 has better leg room than this!


It is sooooo bad that if I recline my seat (Hah! You call 1 inch of movement a reclining function????) my knee caps will hit the back of the seat in front of me and rub against the plasticky netting, a feeling similar to having you teeth drilled by a very large Black & Decker.

So I put my seat upright but it's a 3 hour flight, and I will end up in KL with a sore back.

I know this is an no-frills airline but THIS IS RIDICULOUS! And imagine if we get the same "leg room" if ever Air Asia flies to London? The whole plane will revolt?

Mr. Fernandez, making money is one thing but you are nowhere near Richard Branson's class.

Serving features are for illustration purposes only

KFC's ALASKAN FISH BURGER

My beef (pun intended):

False advertising at its best? In the TV advert, the guy has to use both his hands to hold the burger. In real life, I can hold it with one hand.

Of course KFC will have their usual disclaimer to get around this "Advertise them larger than life" trick in the TV advert. I caught it in the last scene as the advert ends. It's a 0.5 seconds shot of the line that says "Serving features is for illustration purposes only".

I have to actually record this scene in order to catch the disclaimer.

KFC claimed that it has 30% more fish than compared to their nearest competitor. To me, it felt more like a 30% smaller burger than what was shown on TV.

And how it tasted? The so called red tangy sauce that looked like menstrual blood tasted like crap. At least they still got mayo on it.

So on my next visit I specifically order it without the menstrual blood but I stated that I still want the mayo. And what did I get? A burger without the red sauce and without the mayo.

When I enquire why they left out the mayo they said they cannot put in mayo alone because the dispensing pump is set up to dispense both sauce at the same time. When I ask them then why they can put mayo alone in their Colonel burgers they sort of looked at me very dazed.

Conclusion? Give me Filet O' Fish anyday.

Gee.... someone kicked some butt.

Remember my blog of 13th December 2006 "It can only happen in Lahad Datu" when I ranted about the stupidity of most drivers near my house?

The queue jumping is gone! Yes, gone! It now took me only 15 minutes to send microWombie to kindergarten as opposed to 45 minutes in the past, and with lower blood pressure too.

Apparently someone had enough of the queue-jumping idiots and complained to the authorities. In March they start stationing JPJ (Road Transport Department) officers along that side-road and stopped anyone who continue to jump queue. I do not know what exactly they said to these jerks (JPJ officer : "Get back on the main road or I will break your god*mned leg!"?) but I noticed that no one use the side-road anymore.

The jam is still there, but it is now a reasonable crawl with minimum stops, which is tolerable. Unlike previously where everyone stops to let queue jumpers come out from the side-road.

Ok, one or two cars still jump the queue, but I noticed that everyone else is giving them the "look" that made them feel worse than a caught paedophile. Good.

The Wonder Of Righteous Anger - Part 2

The Deputy President,

Pizza Hut Restaurants Sdn Bhd

Level 20, Wisma KFC,

No. 17, Jalan Sultan Ismail,

50250 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Dear Sir,

RE: COMPLAINT

I purchased an large Atlantis Pizza and two large Pepperoni Pizza on take-away basis at Pizza Hut Sandakan at 1.30pm on Sunday 2nd April 2006 and requested for the Stuffed Crust version. When I reached home (170km away) I discovered that it is not stuffed crust at all.

This mistake has not happened once but twice. 1 month ago I purchased two large Supreme stuffed crust pizza on take-away basis and again it came without stuffed crust when I reached home in Lahad Datu which is 170km away.

I can accept that one mistake may be due to human error but twice? Is your Sandakan Pizza Hut staffs trying to pull a fast one on customers ordering take away orders? I find this especially disappointing and irritating. Do you know how disappointing it can be when your children asked you why their pizza are not the stuffed crust version when they specifically ordered as such?

In future when I place take away orders with Pizza Hut I shall inspect the resultant pizza in full view of the dining public in order to ensure that this sort of mistake is not repeated, ever.

Yours sincerely,

Wombat

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

4-4-2006 : Nothing happens.
5-4-2006 : Nothing happens.
6-4-2006 : Handphone goes breep breep!

Wombie : "Hello?"

Manager : "Is that Mr. Wombat?"

Wombie : "That's me."

Manager : "Mr Wombat, I am the manager of Pizza Hut in Sandakan. Did
you recently purchased some pizzas from us, like on Sunday?"

Wombie : "Yup. And it came without stuffed crust. Why you ask?"

Manager : "Well-- my boss in KL just called me up informing me of your
complaint and I am trying to get more information from you in order to
ensure that this does not happen again."

Wombie : "Wow. The email did work eh? You guys over there still have
any butts left after your boss has chewed them all off?

Manager : "Err.. you are just about right on that point."

Wombie : "Ok, the story is like this yada yada yada yada yada and so
please tell me how to explain to my kids why their pizzas have no
stuffed crust despite the fact that they have ordered as such and have
waited the whole day for me to bring it back from Sandakan to Lahad Datu and one even has tears in his eyes? Kasihan kan?"

Manager wipes tears : "Yes-- sniff-- you are-- sniff-- right. The
next time you are in Sandakan please drop by to see me and we will
sort this out okay?"

Wombie : "No problem. Have a good day."

See people, when nothing works and you are totally pissed off,
call or write to the top guy. It can move mountains, and get butts chewed.