22 December 2005

"Daddy, is there a Santa Claus?"

When Little Wombat was four, she once asked me if Santa exists. l was caught off-guard by the question, for she is our first child. No one ever ask me that before.

That was 10 years ago and I remember telling her stuff about the North Pole, elves, Rudolph, sleigh, chimneys and huge socks on the wall. Three years later she found out that it is otherwise.

Last week during a Duke Nukem deathmatch with my 4 year old son microWombie (at which l always lose), he suddenly asks : "Daddy, is there a Santa Claus?". My Duke took a RPG up the butt, distracted by this question.

I looked at him and thought of doing the stuff about North Pole, elves, Rudolph, sleigh, chimneys and huge socks on the wall again. But then 14 year old Little Wombat was staring at me to see if I will continue to lie through my teeth, like I did 10 years ago.

I thought about it for a moment, and told him about the North Pole, elves, Rudolph, sleigh, chimneys and huge socks on the wall. His sister sniggered. I shot her a glance which basically told her that she won't get her MP3 player if she as much as breath a word out. microWombie listened wlde eyed but still managed to put another RPG up my butt.

Ok, we all know there is no Santa Claus. It is just in a child's imagination. But why persist in telling a child there is one? It is because imagination is the only powerful thing a child can have and control. A 3 or 4 year old is basically helpless in terms of money, education and indepedence. With imagination, a kid can believe in something before he grows up and finds out that life is not really that okie dokey.

Imagination enables a child to develop his character, and the Santa story is a good start. Of course if a child starts to imagine that he is Hanibal Lector then we will have some serious issues.

Last Sunday we went to a childrens' party and at the end bit, a Santa Claus came and gave out presents. microWombie asked me why Santa is early this year. I told him that is not the real Santa. The real one comes at Christmas Eve while he is sleeping, but Santa hires temps to help out during the Chrlstmas season. His sister wanted to snigger but I shot her a glance which basically told her that I will take away her broadband connection if she did.

So it is Christmas again. Have a good holiday, go easy on the waist and if you drink, don't drive. Here's wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

13 December 2005


This morning....

*PC dealer's handphone RINGING*

PC dealer : Hello?

Wombie : Wake up! The day has started!

PC : Are you nuts? It's 6.00am!

Wombie : Who cares? I want to place an order. One set Windows XP Pro, one unit Palm TX complete with a 1GB SD card. And I wanted it yesterday.

PC : *Kacing! Kacing! Kacing!* Wah, the IRB sent you your tax refund cheque ah?

Wombie : You wish. All I got was a receipt for compound fine. When do I get the stuff?

PC : 3 to 4 days tops.

Wombie : Good. Make it so.

(A million thanks to SM2 for his advice on not buying the 4GB Life Drive, and the T3 and the T5.)

It can only happen in Lahad Datu...

Imagine this:

You are queueing up in a huge traffic jam. On you left is a road running parallel to yours and going in the same direction. This parallel road is only 500 meters long, and anyone knows that if you use this road to escape the jam, you are effectively queue-jumping and that you just cannot be bothered to queue like everyone else.

So, there you are, stucked on the main road with the jam, and it can take 30 minutes to travel 500 meters. Why? Because those doing the queue-jumping will have to join the main road about 500 meters down the main road. The incredible thing is most of the cars on the main road is actually letting these jerks to rejoin the main road. By doing this, the traffic on the main road is hardly moving at all.

Now for the life of me I just could not understand the logic of this. This is not bestowing kindness nor some practice-good-road-behaviour kind of crap. This is sheer idiocy. It is like you are letting someone come into your house, and they then proceed to wreck it, and you gladly let them leave without a single word.

And this is happening day after day after day.

Ok, you ask : "Bid deal. What about you? Where are you in all this?"

Ok, for starters I can say that I never jumped the queue by using the parallel road. I am one of those who plod along the main road, fuming at the drivers in front of me.

And what do I do when I get near the junction where the jerks try to rejoin the queue? I do not give way. I just roll on, daring anyone to even contemplate the thought of cutting in front of me. I have no choice. This is not about road rage or the monster behind the wheel. This is my way of saying "Fark off you twerp. You queue-jumped so you better bloody hell wait for your turn."

12 December 2005

Rafa : "Look out Jose, I want your butt."

Last night...

"The Greatest Team In The What?" 1 - "The Team That Thought They Are Champions League Standard" 1.

Sir Alex's misery continues.

David Moyes look a bit more smug. (Hey David, we still can't hear you. You are still wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy down there!)

Jose Le Mouth is shivering in his pants at the thought of a revived Reds only 9 points behind.

(And someone please take out a contract on M. Essien's kneecaps. He deserves that much.)

09 December 2005

The Greatest Team In The What???

I remember sometime ago someone here posted something about MoanU being the greatest team in the world.

Well, since we all know that the scoreline is now Benfica 2 - MoanU 1, and no more Champions League and not even the miserable UEFA Cup, nah... not nice to gloat too much lah.

So, now I hope it is Chelski's turn to trip up and get dumped out. Hope they get to meet Barca in the knockout stage draw. Hell, they cannot even win against Reds (and they did not) at Stamford Bridge without having some third rate player blatantly plant his boot right into people's knee cap. How to earn respect like that? Oh shut up and have some humility for a change, Jose.

Lets hope Paul Jewell pull it all together and have Wigan sock a last gasp goal into Chelski's net this Saturday. But then Jose will still say that Chelski doesn't lose matches. It is just that the other team scores more goals. Oh shut up again, Jose.

And to that certain 2004-2005 EPL fourth placed team that dared to even contemplate the thought that they in their wildest dream deserved a place in the Champions League, perhaps their manager can take up male modelling. He looked the part. And what's that you are saying, Everton? You have to speak up because you are wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too far down the table to be heard.

As for AssAnal? Nothing except if EPL ever goes porno one day, it will star Robin Van Pussy and the male actor will be Peter Crotch.

07 December 2005

Wombat Blues (7-12-2005)


Wombie : *Surfing the Net on Streamyx at the slave mines like nobody's business*

*4 hour without electricity, an event which will raise hell in West Malaysia but perfectly normal on the east coast of Sabah*
*Electricity comes back*

Wombie : "Alwight---- what the park??? My modem no longer has a DSL light! Maybe it will come back tomorrow."


Wombie : "Still no DSL light." *Calls Streamyx installer*

Streamyx installer : "Aiya, you are not alone lah. 5 guys in your office's area is having this problem too. Wait for a few days and come back to me."

Wombie : *Felt very odd with that reply but just could not tell why* "Errr ok".

1-12-05.... Still no DSL light.

2-12-05.... Still no DSL light.

3-12-05..... Still no DSL light.


Wombie : "Fark this." *Calls 1-300-88-9515*

Streamyx Staff : "Yours is a new account so it is still under your installer's warranty. You have to contact him."

Wombie : "But but but---"

Streamyx staff : "Have a nice day." *click*

Wombie calls Installer....

Installer : "You have to make a report to Telekom's 100 number."

Wombie calls 100.... *yada yada yada*

100's staff : "Ok we recorded your report and will look into this possibly network problem in your area."

5-12-05.... still no DSL light...

Wombie calls 100 again....

100's staff : "I am sorry. We do not have any record of you reporting this problem to us. You have to make a report again."

Wombie tried very hard to be calm, swallows 3 Digoxins and called 1-300-889515...

Streamyx Staff : "Ok, we will try to help out, although this is really an issue between you and you installer due to the warranty ok? Now, we need you to remove the ADSL splitter and connect your ADSL modem directly to the phone line."

Wombat : "I have done that already. The result is the same. No DSL light."

Streamyx staff : "That is impossible. Did you remove the splitter? Do you know which is the DSL light?

Wombat : "Of course I know which is the ADSL splitter, and which one is the DSL LED light, and I am telling you, I have tried and checked everything. The problem is not on my end. It's the network in my area that is the problem and all I need you guys to do is get some TM technician to look into that please please oh please I beg you have
mercy on me!"

Streamyx staff : "Before we go further than that I need you to check one more thing on your PC----"

Wombat : "STOP IT! Look here, I am reading modem LEDs and writing modem command strings long before you are a spermatozoa. THE PROBLEM IS NOT ON MY SYSTEM! SO STOP BS-ing ME AND SOLVE THIS PROBLEM OR I WILL CC THIS COPY OF WOMBAT BLUES TO NEW STRAITS TIMES TOMORROW FOR THEIR LETTER PAGE!"

Streamyx staff : *Beats hasty retreat*

6-12-2005... 9.00AM....

TM techincian on the phone : "Hello, I understand you have a problem with your Streamyx?"

6-12-2005.... 4.30PM....

Wombie : "Lookee here. A lighted DSL light! I am BACK! Yippee!"

(Point of the story : Once in a while, one really has to get mad to get things moving.)

(Rkaru: "So you don't need MrsR to call her deeply placed source in TM Tower ah?")